Cameron- A phish out of water?

There certainly wasn't a lack of moisture last night in Pittsburgh, either in the air or on the field (if you want to call it a field). But Cam Cameron, king fish of the Dolphins, has to be gasping for air at this point.

Cameron was brought in last off-season, with the hopes of steadying a franchise who has been for years in constant flux: A parade of coaches since Don Shula to match the parade of quarterbacks that have come through since Dan Marino. Touted as an "offensive genius" he came in part to fix a struggling offense, to bring their level up to that of the Dolphins top-notched defense. Cameron brought in Trent Green, a veteran QB Cameron was familiar with, to take the reigns for a bit, while they groomed 2nd round draft pick John Beck. No one had delusions of grandeur, thinking this made the Dolphins Super Bowl contenders. But an improvement over the previous season's 6-10 record, was a safe assumption- if not down right expected- and a there was at least a glimmer playoff hopes.

Fast forward to last night, and the Dolphins inability to put a single point up on the board, losing a sloppy battle to the Steelers, 3-0. Trent Green is done for the season. John Beck is starting. Those glimmers of playoff hopes have vanished, and have been replaced by utter desperation to get on the board in the win column, as the Dolphins sit at 0-11. Many things have conspired against them this year: injuries, inexperience. But the inexperience of the head coach, is what seems to be hindering them the most.

Cameron came in and decided he wanted full autonomy over the offense, as he would wear both the hat of offensive coordinator and head coach. Now it is one thing for a veteran coach to take over play calling if he doesn't like how things are being handled. But it is hard enough for a rookie head coach in the NFL without having to worry about the plays. And it appears as though one thing can't get out of the way of the other for Cameron this year, as his decision making has been debatable at best: both in-game and personnel. Last night's decision to scrap plans for a field goal after a delay of game penalty remains the freshest.

With the score knotted at zeroes in the fourth quarter, Cameron decided not to try a 42 yard go-ahead field goal after the Dolphins were pushed back five yards on a penalty. Previous to that, the Dolphins had lined up to kick- which was blocked only to be washed out by the penalty. That brought the Dolphins to 4th & 11 on the Steelers 25 yard line. Somehow, Cameron felt that the conditions lent themselves more to a big play on offense (remember it is 0-0 after 50 minutes of football), rather than risking a shot at taking the lead (not to missed is the fact that after the five yard penalty, it put the ball on a patch of the playing surface that was in much better condition- a fact which kicker Jay Feeley lobbied for on the sideline). Cameron's decision to go for the first down led to a sack of John Beck, to turn it over on downs. A missed field goal attempt would have netted the same result. A made field goal? Well, I'm no math wizard, but...

This is just another in a long line of poor decisions by Cameron. From sticking with a lame-duck quarterback (second-stringer Cleo Lemon) for too long, to various questionable play calls, it has left Dolphin fans with a lack of space on their heads left to scratch. There have been, in recent weeks, many in the media and on various blogs calling for Cameron's firing already, and I have been one to dismiss them. But watching his post game press conference last night, the guy just looked like a deer in the headlights: A shell-shocked shell of the offensive genius that was hired to stop the mediocrity. It occurred to me that Cam Cameron may just be in it way over his head. A great offensive coordinator doesn't necessarily make a great head coach. And wearing two hats in this league can prove to be too much. So if Cam can't re-distribute some of the responsibility he'd asked for, this may spell doom and turbulence for him and the franchise he was supposed to stabilize. Fire him now? Call this one a lost battle and part ways? I am suddenly not sure it is a bad idea. Another year of flux maybe what the Dolphins need in order to steady the ship for years to come.

Irish past the point of "Pep"

It was a blast from the past last night, watching ESPN's Lou Holtz dressed up in Notre Dame garb, giving one of his "Lou's Pep Talks"- a goofy segment which airs on ESPN's college football programming, where Lou puts on the get-up of a team facing a specific challenge that week, and acts as their coach giving the pre-game pep-talk. This week's team: Lou's old team, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Their challenge: Beating a team who is as perennially awful as the Irish are this season: the Duke Blue Devils.

Holtz's pep-talk included all the stuff you would expect: summoning the glory and prestige and tradition that is Notre Dame football. All in all, a decent locker room speech. It certainly stirred up memories of the late 80's-early 90's for me, and not only because it looked like Lou was wearing actual articles of clothing he wore on the sidelines back then- foregoing the sleeker, streamlined dandies worn today by coaches and players alike. And it certainly stands to reason to use these elements of history to inspire these kids who seem to have lost their way, if not their will. I would suggest though leaving all that behind and dumming it down to the simplest of messages: Go out there and just be the second worst team on that field!

Inspiration, it lacks. Reality? It is is chock-full. Duke: You fear them on the basketball court and you run them over on the football field- whether you are Notre Dame or Southern Methodist. But as the case is this year in South Bend- it doesn't need to be pretty, it doesn't need to be dominating. All Irish fans can possibly hope for is for their team to suck less than the Blue Devils, and come away with at least one more point on the scoreboard than their foes. Another notch in the nearly empty W column.

That's all folks: there is no bowl-eligibility this year, and it's too late to win a few to salvage the season. Just Duke this week, and another basketball power in Stanford next week. The echos don't need to be woken up- let them sleep 'til next year. Just find a way to win this battle-of-the-bads, and salvage- not the season- but at least a shred of pride. Lou appealed to the seniors in his "pep-talk," and on senior day in South Bend- let's hope the tears will be more of joy, than of another microcosm of this forgettable season.

Anatomy of Greed

LOCAL ONE STRIKES AGAINST THE LEAGUE OF AMERICAN THEATRES AND PRODUCERS.

Not a sports blog, but something important to me.

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Irish taking one (two?) for the good of the country?

Here's a noble, if misguided, attempt to put a positive stamp on this dismally unprecedented season for Notre Dame. Last week's historic loss to the Naval Academy, followed by Saturday's drubbing at the hands of Air Force got me thinking. The Fighting Irish are doing their part in improving the morale of service men fighting throughout the world- no word on whether there are last minute plans to schedule games with Army or Virginia Military.

Yes, 1-9 begets finger pointing and excuses as plentiful as losses; but doesn't a feel-good excuse, albeit completely and utterly fabricated, for lack of better verbiage: feel good? All right, at 1-9 nothing feels good. You know just how very bad it is when you can't even find solace the remaining schools on the schedule: Duke and Stanford- teams not often feared off the hardwood.

Once wunderkind coach Charlie Weis hears the boos and definitely feels the pressure that this debacle of a season has placed on him. But he just maybe the first losing coach to receive a call from the President: thanking him for doing his part in the war on terror. Unfortunately Weis may need to worry more about a possible coming Holy war- precipitated by the one call he doesn't want to receive: the Pope.

Shula's remarks surprising, sad

A couple weeks back here I took issue with the NY Post, placing an asterisk next to New England in the standings column- with the notation below that the asterisk carried the meaning "caught cheating." Chalk it up to the NY-Boston rivalry.

At the time, I thought that diminishing the Patriots' season by bringing up "Spygate" was foolish, because they were playing the best football of anyone in the league. As the season progresses, it seems even more ridiculous to to talk of asterisks and qualifications against the Pats, as it is clear- no matter what happened- that they are the team to beat, and could very well run the table this year.

Enter our guy, Don Shula. Talking to the New York Daily news, Shula said "The Spygate thing has diminished what they've accomplished. You would hate to have that attached to your accomplishments. They've got it." Now I understand it is a touchy subject- everytime the topic of somebody making a run at an undefeated season is breached, the '72 boys come out of the woodwork to get their discouraging remarks published by anyone who will listen- but this coming from Shula surprises me.

With the Dolphins sitting at 0-8, any comments from anyone associated with franchise, past or present, aimed at attacking the Patriots' accomplishments this season has to be viewed as a desperate attempt at nostalgia, if not outright jealousy. Even from Don Shula, who has every right to be proud, it seems somewhat pitiful.

He certainly has a right to his opinion, and even later downplayed his strong remarks saying that "[The]Only thing I did was answer questions asked of me," but the reality of the situation is this: If he were someone else making these remarks, it would be just somebody else piping in on a tired NFL news story. But he is Don Shula- unmistakably associated with the Dolphins- and the past and present of the Dolphins' franchise colors what would otherwise be innocent remarks.

Let's get one thing straight. I hate the New England Patriots. And yes, their coach was caught cheating- no defense for that. But I am tired of hearing about Spygate and asterisks. They are playing the best football of anyone I can remember for a very long time. And if they do manage to complete a perfect season, it will have nothing to do with video-taped signals on the sideline. And bringing it up time and time again seems more and more like an excuse, because they are making other NFL teams look silly. I would have hoped that Shula in his vast experience with the game could recognize that. I love ya Don, and I don't pretend to know more about football than you- but I disagree with you on this one.

Turn the (calendar) Page

2007. A year that shall forever live in infamy in the pantheon of my fandom. I have been a sports fan for as long as I can remember. Never has a year tested my patience, and caused me more grief and/or acid-reflux than this season of discontent. The good thing about being a fan of many sports is the fall-back mentality it affords you. If one of your teams has a bad season, another sport invariably rolls around and helps ease the sting. But never have the stars aligned, or un-aligned as the case may be, against me in such a fashion as to leave me in a state of utter despair- when "wait 'til next year" actually speaks to the pages of the calendar not falling fast enough.

The Los Angeles Kings, my first love of all sports franchises, have toiled for years in NHL mediocrity. 2007 brought the disappointing end to another season. Adding insult to injury, their neighbors to the immediate south, the Ducks (ne' Mighty Ducks) of Anaheim, hoisted Lord Stanley's Cup- in only their 13th year of existance as a franchise (it was their second trip to the finals). The Kings have only been to the Stanley Cup finals once in their 40 year history, never to win it all. Another year, another year of rebuilding.

The long, cold winter ending means spring. Which means Spring Training. Which means baseball. The Yankees carried with them into spring the usual hopes of another World Series title. However, they forgot to show up for the first two months of season. They did rally in time, and in amazing and inspiring fashion, to make make the playoffs- only to disappoint in the first round once again. And the off-season has been less than kind as of yet. Joe Torre is wearing Dodger Blue after turning down a one-year offer to return to the helm of the Yanks. After a regular season for the ages and most likely another MVP, A-Rod exercised the opt-out clause in his contract- not even waiting for the 10-day window after the World Series to begin before doing so. And the Yankees are still unsure of the future of Yankee staples Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera- not to mention Andy Pettitte. After a roller coaster season with a frustrating end, never has there been more questions in recent history as to what the immediate future holds for the Yankees.

So, time to turn my attention to the NFL... The Dolphins made a splash long before the season even began, drafting Tedd Ginn Jr. with the #9 pick over a handful of other possible- maybe even more deserving- players, most notably Notre Dame quaterback Brady Quinn (see below as to the doubly painful effect on me). When the dust had settled, and training camp started, all in Fin-fandom seemed to have calmed down. Daunte Culpepper's turbulent time in Miami had ended, the Dolphins brought in another former Pro-Bowler at QB in Trent Green, and there was a general feeling that there would be improvement over the 6-10 season past. Then the season began. And the losing began. Trent Green was lost for the season due to a severe concussion, former #2 overall pick RB Ronnie Brown's breakout season ended with a torn ACL, and top wide-out Chris Chambers was shipped out west to San Diego for a second round draft pick. As I write this, the Fins- whom are the only NFL franchise in the modern era to have ever completed an undefeated season- are sitting at 0-8 (inlcuding an ugly loss at the hands of the Raiders and the banished Culpepper). Little left to cheer about this year, save for "moral" victories (let alone perhaps an actual victory) and the development of prospects. And it's barely November. Sigh.

So thank God for college football, right? This is one the one I was born into. This is also the one that hurts the most. My grandfather's graduating in 1935 from Notre Dame and subsequent passion for ND football left me no option but to bleed green from September to early January. This year, the loss of four-year starting QB Brady Quinn, along with other key departures on offense at the skill postions would definitely be felt. But the signing of the top high-school recruit in QB Jimmy Claussen would surely ease the blow and point the Irish in the direction of building toward another successful run. But Claussen didn't come in and take a stranglehold on the starting job as he was expected to in spring practice. A three-way battle was born at the QB position over the summer, as well as reports that Jimmy Claussen had surgery on his throwing elbow. The season began amidst cautious optimism, with Claussen at number three on the depth chart. Once the team took the field, it was obvious that this team wouldn't be competing for the national championship this year. And as Jimmy Claussen became the starter, and then following his demotion to backup- it became painfully obvious that there would be no bowl game this year for the Irish. At 1-7, there didn't seem to be anywhere to go but up... until this past weekend. Notre Dame lost in overtime to perrenial dormat Navy. A Navy team that the Irish had defeated 43 consecutive times (context: Roger Staubach was the QB for the Naval Academy's previous victory over Notre Dame). Coach Charlie Weis' utter lack of faith in his special teams unit led him to decide not to go for a field goal on fourth down towards the end of regulation time. And now, despite the soft remaining schedule for the Irish, there has to be an utter lack of faith that Notre Dame will wake up the echos in victory again this season. Somewhere, my grandfather is looking down on all this in disbelief. And I see that disbelief reflected on the faces of all Irish fans- as well as in the mirror- every Saturday.

My lesser passions, pro and college basketball are not without their downsides as well. The LA Lakers' on going soap-opera with Kobe Bryant makes for great headlines but not great basketball. And the recent reports of University of Arizona's fixture Lute Olson need for a leave of absence doesn't bode well for the Wildcats this year- after the 'cats underachieved last season. Geez.

I haven't even metnioned the the debacle that was my fantasy baseball season... It may just be my fantasy football team that saves the year from being a complete sports loss. It's still too early to call that one. But what's not too early too call is 2007 as the darkest sports-year in my three-plus decades of fandom. The promise of next year always looms though, and lord knows I'll be there: praying for the light to shine.

Hasta la vistA-Rod

And it ends. Not with with a bang, but a whimper- as the poet said. Actually it's: Not with a press conference, but a voicemail. According to agent Scott Boras, Alex Rodriguez has opted out of the last three years of his landmark contract, leaving some $80 million- plus (minus the $9 million he will still be paid by the Texas Rangers) on the table; and leaving the Bronx and the Yankees behind. The bomb was dropped by Boras not in a face-to-face meeting, but on Yankees' GM Brian Cashman's voicemail. "He was traveling, I was traveling," was all Boras had to say of his failed attempt to contact Cashman. Guess he thought a voicemail would be better than an IM, or a text- or do they make "Opting out of Contract" E-cards?

Where to even begin with this one? According to Boras, "Alex's decision was one based on not knowing what his closer, his catcher and one of his statured pitchers was going to do," Boras said. "He really didn't want to make any decisions until he knew what they were doing." Now, A-Rod's concern for the future of the Yankees' franchise is very touching and all, but it really has nothing to do with why he opted out. And interesting turn of phrase: "his closer, his catcher..." Last I remember, A-Rod isn't even the captain of the Yankees, let alone in any kind of position to be calling teammates "his." Granted, it's Scott Boras speaking for A-Rod - but he ain't doing the guy any favors. A-Rod was going to catch flack for all of this anyway, walking away from millions of dollars- but Boras is making him look like more of a jerk rather than helping the situation.

All I would love is the truth. For Alex Rodriguez to come out and say he didn't want to play for the Yankees anymore. He didn't want to deal with all that goes with it. Save me the quotes: "Alex enjoyed playing in New York. He played well there. He was comfortable there." Anybody believe that? And if it were true, wouldn't he have instructed his agent to negotiate in good faith with the Yankees and make it happen? But did A-Rod's feelings or opinion bear any weight? The way it is all playing out, it looks to me that A-Rod wanted out. On Boras' "advice," they never even sat down with the club to even entertain what offers may have been on the table. And A-Rod followed that advice, apparently in juxtaposition with what he truly wanted. Which begs the question: Who's working for who?

Scott Boras seems to have an almost hypnotic control over his clients. I have never heard of someone going against his wishes. Why? Because he gets people paid. And that's his bottom line.
Oh he'll go on and on about market-value, statistical analysis, and such- but he wants to put the most money in his own pocket at any cost. And his players go along with with it, because they are getting more money too. And they go along, to the point where it doesn't seem like it's the player that is making the final decision. Boras makes offers his opinion, and that's what wind up happening. But Boras never says it's about the money. What is it about if it isn't about the money? It certainly isn't about loyalty, or love of the game, or concerns about who his closer, his catcher will be. It's dollars and cents, plain and simple. I would love somebody to just stand up and say that. For Boras to say, I just want to get my client the most money possible, so I get more too, no matter what it takes. That's it... then I will stop my griping.

But this isn't about the money for A-Rod. Hank Steinbrenner, in his relatively new position as "Boss" in the Bronx, has proved to be less than sensitive when making remarks to the press. But his comments in regards to A-Rod seemed to strike the nail on the head: "It's clear he didn't want to be a Yankee." And we'll probably never know. Boras can spin it however he wants, but all signs point to the fact that A-Rod no longer wanted to be Yankee. Not only that, but Boras is also making A-Rod a symbol of all that is wrong with the world of sports right now, whether that is actually the case or not. And unless Alex Rodriguez comes out and says Scott Boras his holding his life hostage, then that's all I can take away from this.

And the bleak goes on...

Just when it appeared bleak- nearly hopeless- for the Miami Dolphins, it just got bleaker. And no, I am not talking about the skies over London, where they are set to face the New York Giants next week. It was reported today that Ronnie Brown, who has been the lone bright spot in an otherwise dismal season, will be out for the remainder of the season after learning the grim results of the MRI on his damaged right knee. Brown injured the knee in third quarter of Sunday's shellacking versus the New England Patriots, while chasing down Patriots defender Randall Gay after a Cleo Lemon interception. It was not reported however, if anyone named Murphy was involved in the play in question. No, there was no Murphy on the field on Sunday, but Murphy's law seems to have dictated the course of events this year in Miami.

It's been that kind of season for the Dolphins. If could get worse, it does. And so continues the dismantling of Miami's offense: Brown and starting quarterback Trent Green lost to injury, and starting wide out Chris Chambers to San Diego via trade. Two former Pro-Bowlers and a rising star gone, all in the course of a couple of weeks. Hey, at least they got a 2nd round draft pick and his salary off the books with Chambers. The other two leave nothing but question marks: Trent Green's career is very much in doubt, suffering his second serious concussion in as many years; and it remains to be seen just how bad Ronnie Brown's injury is.

What's next for the offense-poor, weary Dolphins? A long plane ride across the Atlantic, where they will face the league's hottest defensive unit in the Giants. Lambs to the slaughter? It is the NFL, and anything can happen in any given week- but that anything that could happen to the Dolphins may just be another disastrous bump in the long road that is this season. A long road that just may bring about more losses. Really there's only thing to play for now (besides pride, or the first pick in the draft), and that's not to become the first win less team in the history of the 16-game season. What a shame it would be for the Miami Dolphins, the team famous for its unprecedented and unmatched perfect season, to set a precedent of another kind all together- an unblemished record on the other end of the spectrum. So as they slog through the rest of the 2007 season, looking for their first win the Dolphins may want to take note: Weeks 10 and 14 find them facing the Buffalo Bills, who boast a tight-end by the name of Matt Murphy. What better way to exercise the demons of Murphy's law than by defeating Murphy himself? Maybe there is something else to play for this season after all.

A class act, to the end

The Joe Torre era in the Bronx has come to end. Throughout the 2007 season, I thought- many times- maybe it was time to move on. When the season ended abruptly with yet another first-round disappointment- I thought, maybe it's time for the Yanks and Torre to part ways. But when the news came down that Joe had rejected the Yankees one-year contract offer- I didn't know what to think, or how I felt. A day after his farewell press conference, I am sure of one thing: he deserved better. Maybe not from the Yankees so much- although that argument can be made- but certainly from the media.

Joe Torre went out of his way to hold his press conference yesterday- which he did not have to do. But as he has been throughout his tenure as Yankees skipper, he has handled the press corps with grace and tact- with fairness and openness. So yesterday the press flocked to the Hilton in Rye, New York, and were greeted by Torre with, among other things: "I'm here for as long as you need me." A pretty selfless act for someone who was in an awkward situation. The same guy who in 12 years, never had a notable run in with a member of the press: no arguments, no turning over his desk in is office. Yesterday, as he always did, he invited them in and leveled with them.

To show their appreciation to him, there were headlines this morning containing "Bitter Joe," and "Why I quit" (words never uttered in the press conference)- unfair treatment to a guy who had given his time freely to these very writers who turned around and decided to put a negative spin on the event. It is a reaction befitting of crazed fans maybe, but not of the supposed unbiased media. To be quite honest, Torre really could have said a lot of harsh things, about Steinbrenner, about the Yankees organization, about all the second guessers. But instead he remained a class act, spoke his mind- but never to the point of bad mouthing or pointing fingers or deflecting blame.

The next Yankees manager has some huge shoes to fill- and never mind Joe Torre's numbers. The way he handled the media, and protected his players; created an atmosphere in the clubhouse that was prone to winning: positive and always team- oriented. Hopefully the next guy is someone who has been watching closely the past 12 years, someone who can even come close to emulating those ideals.

Nothing lasts forever. And perhaps this is right time for this to happen. But I was hoping the press could give the guy a fond send off. Say what you will about his in-game management, second guess his pitching changes or substitutions- but characterizing JoeTorre as bitter, or a quitter; painting a picture of Joe Torre the man as anything less the gracious is something that I won't be a part of. Good luck, Joe. We were lucky to have you around all these years.

Manny being... oh, Manny

Okay, second entry in row where I am making the statement, "If I were a _______ fan, I'd be…blah blah blah." That said, if I were a Red Sox fan- and thank the good lord I am not- I would be pretty much done with Manny Ramirez. The ol' "Just Manny being Manny" has reared it its ugly, nappy-dreaded head again this week in multiple. It wasn't enough that we had to watch Manny, hands extended over his head, standing for way too long at home plate admiring his home run on Tuesday night in Cleveland- a solo home run that brought the score to 7-3: in favor of the Indians. What was he so damn excited about that he needs to hot-dog like that, show up the opposing team in their own stadium, and frankly embarrass himself and his teammates? To quote the guys on ESPN's show PTI, "It looked like he thought he just hit a 6-run walk-off homer!" Just Manny being Manny.

Now today we learn that Manny, in his words, gave a hearty "Who cares?" in regards to whether or not the Red Sox win their series against the Indians. From ESPN.com:

"Why should we panic?" he said in a rare clubhouse interview. "We've got a great team."And then, this: "It doesn't happen, so who cares? There's always next year. It's not the end of the world."

Who cares, Manny? Red Sox Nation, knucklehead. With the recent history of Red Sox comebacks, the last thing a hyped-up Sox fan wants to hear is that one of the star players on their favorite team really doesn't care too much, and is willing to give it the old college try next year. Especially a Boston fan. I think there have been far too many next years for them.
Will there be any backlash from this? Time will tell I think. Let's see how Manny performs tonight and see if the Sox can pull this one out. Then we'll see the reaction from Red Sox Nation.
To me, there has to be point where the all the crap- the sound bites, the loafing around the bases and outfield, the yearly trade requests- outweighs even the most spectacular hitting performance. And Manny Ramirez is an enormously talented and feared hitter- maybe even one of the best right-handed batters in the history of the game. But I wouldn't want him anywhere near my team- as a fan and I would think as a front office staff. The fact that the need for damage control is so frequent that it has garnered its own catch phrase, "Just Manny being Manny," should say it all. If at all goes bad this week for the Red Sox we may see that yearly trade request actually come to fruition- and Manny can be Manny somewhere else.

*******

OH AND…

Happiest of birthdays today to my beautiful wife Heather! Also not a Red Sox fan (otherwise probably not my wife…ha). Also, such a phenomenal wife that had the Yankees made it to the ALCS, and to a Game 5- that's where we'd be tonight. On her birthday! Yes gents, she is a keeper!

Bitter, party of one newspaper!*

Let the Boston-New York rivalry, nay, hate-fest continue! This time it spills off the football field into and onto the pages of The New York Post. But not quite where you'd expect: not in the column of some Jets' beat-writer; not in some sports editorial piece; not in a cheesy ad for a bar that shows NFL games; but in the NFL standings section of the paper (A section heretofore, in my recollection, which has matched, in its contents, the print and paper it exists on- black and white- or maybe even off-white in its extreme). In an extremely- dare I say- colorful move, the powers-that-be over at The Post felt the necessity to put and asterisk next to the name of New England, who at present boasts a 6-0 record and a commanding lead in the AFC East. Just below the standings we see noted that the asterisk has the connotation of "Caught Cheating," in bold type-face. Now, I am no fan of the New England Patriots- in fact I loath them. But, being that I am also not Jets' fan I can (in this case) remove myself from the inter-city slugfest that is Boston-New York.

This reeks of bitterness on the part of New York (The Post taking it upon themselves to speak for all), on behalf of the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets. Not just run of mill bitterness- but that chip on the shoulder, deep-seeded bitterness that has become synonymous with Boston fans. The famous bitterness that provoked a "Yankees Suck" chant to break out during a celebration of the Patriots Super Bowl championship celebration in 2002. As most every football fan now knows, in or out of Boston, the New England Patriots and their coach Bill Belichick were caught video taping signals of the opposing team's coaching staff on the sideline during a game. Belichick was fined $500K and he and the Patriots organization were vilified in the national and local media. And rightfully so: the Patriots were caught using illegal tactics to gain an advantage over their opponents. They turned over all the illegally-obtained information to the League. End of that story.

So now back to the asterisk. Now while "caught cheating" is a statement of fact, the statement it makes is one of blind jealousy and stupidity. It implies that Patriots are 6-0 because of the incident, and that their record therefore is somehow irrelevant. Perhaps The Post should print what New England's record ought to be, with the cheating taken into effect. Or better yet, maybe the all-powerful press should vote every week and tell us who the best team in the league is- like they do so accurately do for college football week after week. The real truth is, cheating, or what have you, aside- the Pats are 6-0 because they are more than likely the best team in the NFL at present. And let's face it: Belichick got caught- but it doesn't mean other teams haven't done it or maybe even continue to do it, albeit more discretely. And let us not forget against whom the Patriots were playing when all this went down… yep, the New York Jets. Hmmm. Quite frankly, the asterisk would embarrass me if I were a Jets fan. The Patriots did not beat the Jets on that day thanks to stolen signals. They beat them because they were, and are the better team- by far. And New York fans being as savvy as they are, they know this.

The bottom line is: the NFL standings page is not the place to make opinions known, or qualifications made. Why not add asterisks to the Major League Baseball standings, or to any team in any sport who has had a player suspended for performance-enhancing drugs? Why not add asterisks to denote the period of time when a team had its star player out with an injury? Or for players in touble with the law? I could go on and on into infinity, into minutiae -but that would be ridiculous. The New York Post has now set the bar for ridiculous-ness. There was a report today that Tom Brady was fined by the NFL for not buckling his chin strap fully in last week's game against Dallas. I can't wait to read the NFL standings The Post in the morning to see if they've added another asterisk.

(Midnight) Blue in October

Believe me, I understand. Not every team can gauge their success at the end of the year by whether or not they have won the World Series. But call it Yankee Pride, greed, or whatever you want- a World Series ring is the measuring stick in the Bronx. And Yankee's brass and fans desire and expect no less than that.

Yes, baseball has crowned a new world champ every year since 2000- when the Yanks won their last of four titles in five seasons. And yes, that is great for Major League Baseball, competitive balance, and all that. And yeah, it's teriffic that we can go into Spring Training every wondering who will be this year's suprise break-out team... but guess what? I don't care. My favorite team has a $200 million payroll, and frankly it's embarrassing when they get bouced in the first round of the playoffs time and time again.

I refuse to listen to fans of other teams whining about the fact that they haven't won anything in years and years- if ever- and all the finger pointing that has gone on with it- the Yankees spend so much money on big players, they're buying their championships, it's bad for baseball, blah blah blah... If it was so bad for baseball, why has it been 7 years since their last title? It seems to me that spending all that money with nothing to show for it is only bad for the Yankees. If you own a professional sports franchise, you've got the cash to spend on upgrading your team if you so desire. And I don't ever remember seeing George Steinbrenner crying over lost greenbacks- just missed opportunity. And quite frankly, if I was shelling out the cash that he does year after year, I would expect the world as well- and would be outspoken of my expectations. He just wants to win at any cost, and has ingrained that into his team's fans' psyche.

I'm rambling. I have no grand plan on how to fix this situation. Part ways with Joe Torre, and you may lose some of the players that revere him. Keep him, and you may just precipitate a repeat performance of the past few seasons. Let A-Rod go, and you reduce the monumental payroll that everyone complains about- but create a gaping hole in your lineup. Sign A-Rod to yet another record-breaking deal and incur the wrath of all the whiners, further the lore of the "Evil Empire." All I know for certain, is that it's not quite the middle of October and I already don't care about the outcome of rest of the playoffs (except of course that Boston be ousted sooner rather than later): and I don't like that. Yes I'll still watch, I'm a baseball fan too, not just a Yankee fan. But it won't be that heart in my throat, pacing around my apartment excitement that I somehow enjoy. And say what you will, you fans of other teams who don't often taste the thrill of the ultimate in baseball- I get it: I'm spoiled, I'm arrogant. But guess what? I am a Yankee fan, and I don't care.

Can I hear you now? ..Yes!

Can you hear me now? I thought it was a question I could answer at any given time with some amount of confidence. I am not sure anymore, if what I heard was what I heard, or if I heard it to its full capacity.

I made my first visit to an Ear, Nose & Throat doctor today for, among other reasons, to get my ears checked out. For a while, I have felt in my right ear- a little plugged up. Not so much as to greatly affect my hearing, but enough to know it's there, and I told my doctor this, as he looked into my ear with that little light thingy. "Well, you've got a load of wax in there," he said, followed by the question do I clean my ears with Q-tips- yes I said- and went to the lecture we have all heard: the do not put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow speech, you're just making worse blah blah blah. The next thing I know, I was told to be very still and he inserted a cold metal instrument into my ear- much to my discomfort. Be still, I was told again- I thought I had been still, but I guess one loses awareness of one's movement when confronted with cold steel in your ear (no I don't know if it was actual steel, but the gun metaphor adds a certain dramatic flair I just couldn't resist)- and with a touch of effort pulled the instrument out of my ear, and said something to the effect of, "Look at that." What remained on the instrument was a gob of wax, roughly the size of my pinky nail- which doesn't seem like much, even more so given the fact I have very small pinkies, and yet- monumental with the knowledge that it came out of my ear.

Following his conquest on my right ear, the doctor cleaned up the left and sat down at his computer and began asking me questions. It was then I noticed. Every click of his keyboard, every "s" in his speech hit my ears with such ferocity that I exclaimed something like, "Wow, everything's really loud," or something stupid of the like- to which responded, dryly and seemingly unimpressed, "I'll try to talk quieter." I left the office and walked out into the bitter cold morning. Bitter, cold, loud morning. Truck breaks, taxis honking, a bird flapping its wings twelve blocks away. I had supersonic hearing, I explained to my coworkers, once I had reached the office. And every time I spoke, it sounded as if I was speaking into a tin can and having the sound bounced right back at me. The rustle of papers, the ring of the phone, the guy sneezing two floors below me. My hearing had improved to annoying level. And it continued like this for the rest of the day. Sounds I had heard in the past as background noise, competed for my attention with ones right in front of me.

So what have I learned (besides the whispered secrets of people fifty feet away from me)? I am sticking to the Q-tips. Sorry, Doc. A little wax goes a long way from keeping someone sane. No one should hear as well as I heard after leaving that office. I now understand fully why Superman needed his fortress of solitude. Can I hear you now? Most definitely. So be careful what you say, wherever you are- because whether I like it or not, I may be listening.

Time to sell low for Bonds?

What has been for so long a bad dream to Major League Baseball, is quickly turning into a complete nightmare. Perhaps at their own doing. As he has approached Hank Aaron's sacred home run record, Barry Bonds has hidden behind the blanket of never actually failing a drug test. Now reports are that he did indeed fail a drug test last season, although for amphetamines- not for steroids as anyone following the story might have thought. But any sort of positive test for Bonds at this point is a big negative for him. He can no longer hide behind his veil, although ultra-sheer to begin with, of innocence. Reports that it may affect the completion of his contract with the Giants have surfaced, as well early reports of blaming a teammate for the positive test, both of which have been refuted by the Bonds camp. To a man who has never been thought of as the model teammate, this just adds fuel to the fire. It also adds the weight of more scrutiny on Bonds as he continues his march toward baseball history.

Under the new testing policy, a first positive test for amphetamines carries no suspension, and results of the test are kept private. So in that respect, we have no idea how many players tested positive for amphetamines during the 2006 season. Barry Bonds run at Hank Aaron has been met with tepid, if not downright cold response from MLB and the commissioner's office. Almost as if to sweep it under the table, Bud Selig's remarks have been very understated and unclear as to how baseball would recognize or deal with Bonds' forthcoming record. Conspiracy theorists- have at it! It is interesting that the only name we have heard in conjunction with amphetamines testing happens to be Barry Bonds. Almost as interesting is the timing: Amidst reports that the Giants and Bonds' representatives are in a quagmire hammering out very important language of Bonds' contract that was supposedly close to being a done deal over a month ago. Not to suggest that a top secret directive came down from the commissioner's office, but certainly there are those in baseball that would like this problem to go away, rather than having to deal with it head on. Bonds is tired. Physically, mentally. Could something like this push him into retirement, short of his goal of home run King? It certainly seems possible. And maybe, whoever leaked the information of his failed drug test thought so too.

So, Barry Bonds' march towards baseball history could carry with it a nasty double meaning. Does he make history, and pass Hank Aaron as baseball's big fly leader? Or does he become baseball history, by retiring? We'll find out in the weeks to come. And as for conspiracy theories? Pitchers and catchers don't report for another month, and nothing makes the winter pass like a good read.

*******
Oh, and…

After it has failed to promote its own stars, and failed to capture the consciousness of American sports, Major League Soccer has gone trans-Atlantic, if not trans-Galactic to bring David Beckham stateside. One the biggest stars worldwide, transcending that of sports fame, Beckham brings publicity wherever he goes. MLS is banking on that celebrity to boost sales and notoriety. Banking is a careful choice of words too, as reports tell us the total worth of Beckham's contract may reach the $250 million stratosphere. Is this a good thing for MLS? This fledgling league putting all its golden eggs in one basket? In the short term, it seems a no brainer. For the LA Galaxy, who reported a 2,000 seat boost in season ticket sales following the announcement, they will see an immediate increase in attendance. Fans will flock to see the most famous British import since perhaps The Beatles. We may even see Lakers game- like celebrity attendance in the beginning. And so too will they flock when and wherever the Galaxy travel. But as far as staying power, will it be enough to keep the fans coming back? At this point, it appears MLS is hoping to just get fans in the stadiums, and hedge their bets as whether they will stay when the mania subsides. Or hoping this opens the door for others to make the jump from other European elite leagues. The MLS season starts in early April, and Beckham's current contract with Real Madrid is through June 30. Do the 2,000 fans who rushed out to by their Galaxy season seats know they won't be seeing Beckham for the first three months of the season? It would be an awful way to start off building a fan base if they don't.

A kinder, gentler unit

A small bone, a half-hearted kudos, tossed to ex and current Diamondbacks starter Randy Johnson. In his introductory press conference yesterday in Arizona, Johnson buried hatchets, took the slow boat on the water going under that fabled bridge, saying among other things "The run that I had, as short-lived as it was, as well-documented as it was in New York, I wouldn't change a thing. I think those are life experiences that make a man."

Wow. This from a guy whose first quotable after landing in New York as Yankee was "get outta my face [sic]" as he shoved a WCBS camera man by the lens with his Arsenio Hall-sized tallons. He could have said, Hey I pitched over 400 innings and won 34 games the past two seasons. Get outta my face! We have witnessed a transformation from the don't-even-look-at-this-guy-on-gameday, to the guy who is just happy to be wearing the number 51 again. Approachable Unit. And seeing the posed pictures from the press conference, the Unit beaming for the cameras, how can we be sure Randy didn't want to go back to Phoenix to get into the snazzy new red uni's the D-backs got going on. Makes you wonder if Yankees GM Brian Cashman dropped that in somewhere to Randy thoughout the negotiation process, Hey Randy, you know if you go back to Arizona, you know you don't have to wear bright purple anymore.

Seriously though, everybody's saying the right thing, but everybody is happy to have this chapter closed. Randy Johnson is home, playing in NL West anonymity, wearing number 51 in a half-emtpy beautiful retractible- roof stadium; and the Yankees get younger (for the moment, they are surely on speed dial with the Rocket), they have $14 million they can spend on someone who they know can pitch in the Bronx, and they continue to stockpile young arms.


Oh, and...

Without getting into the steroid debate- here's one thought on the Hall of Fame voting results, announced yesterday. Shame on voters, albeit 2-2.5%, who didn't vote for Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken. If ever there was a chance for unanimous entry, these guys were it. Leave it to the writers who feel it is their duty to not vote anyone in on the first ballot, based on principle. Which begs the age-old seemingly unanswerable question, if a guy isn't a hall of famer this year, why is he the next year? Or in five years? Ten? (Hang in there Goose, 21 votes to go.) I could keep going- and rag on the guys who turned in a blank ballot (see Paul Ladewski of the Daily Southtown in Chicago) in part because no one is above supsicion in this era of baseball- but this is just a tag, which is why I refuse to go into the whole steroid debate.